Friday, 3 March 2017

Has blogging left me behind?

I’ve been blogging on and off for about 5 years now, I started in my second year of college on a course I hated. I started blogging so I could share and see how my personal style changed over the years and eventually it evolved into a mix of a bit of everything.  I stand by that I started and still do blog for fun, I wasn’t going to get caught up in the number game or compare myself to the other blogs that I follow.  Blogging isn’t “supposed” to be about the numbers but it is disheartening to see the bloggers around you numbers shooting up, which they of course deserved, while your numbers still stay the same.  

I’ve blogged all this time because I’ve enjoyed it. I’ve found there’s something therapeutic about writing my thoughts and feelings down about a subject I’m passionate about or writing about my latest outfit of the day. I’d finally found something that I stuck to and was motivated to be doing.  

But the last year or two I’ve found blogging becoming more of a chore. I’ve got full blog posts written down somewhere, one that I’m passionate about and yet they’ve never seem to get past the drafting stage. It’s always “I’ll get round to it” or it’s on my to do list and never ends up being crossed off.

I’ve never been much of a writer, my thoughts are all over the place and I write up my content like I talk in my head. I was always in the middle in my English class at school, I wasn’t terrible but I never excelled at it either. But now I enjoy writing, whether it’s a small poem I thought while trying to sleep, that I needed to jot down on my phones notes or my thoughts on an article I’d just read, scribbled down on a spare piece of paper I have floating about. But it’s not something I want to do professionally

I’ve always found that blogging was the best format for me to express myself. My only little piece of the internet to share what I felt. It was pressure free from being perfect and if it felt too personal I didn’t have to click that publish button.

I think I’ve fallen out of love with blogging but I’m not ready to let go just yet.  

I think it's the stuff that comes alongside blogging. The bits you do when it becomes serious. The endless promotion, the scheduling tweets and collaborating with all your other social media sites. I don’t know about HTML or have the skills or money to have an incredible blog theme or header. I still haven’t got my head around my stats and engagement no matter how many tips and tricks post I’ve read. I haven’t got a clue about working with brands or PR companies. I’ve not yet figured out how to get that perfect photo, without a personal photographer. I try and it never looks good enough. The pressure of wanting to buy things to blog about or to make my photos look better or wanting the best brand of camera, even though other bloggers are claiming they’re taking their photos on an iPhone.

I used to want to know. I used to beat myself up because I still wasn’t getting the hang of it. Wondering why it just wasn’t working for me. Blogging was becoming toxic.
I don’t think I’m cut out for that serious blogging malarkey and I certainly don’t want the “fame” or judgement from strangers. I felt a pressure that may or may not be there, to keep up with those around me.

When I started blogging wasn’t about the perfect photo or fantastic writing. It was messy, creative and fun. It wasn’t about the perfect flat lay or street fashion photography. You could get away with using a wall in your house or garden for an OOTD, just because you wanted to share an outfit you were loving at that moment.

And yet I don’t want to be done with blogging, I feel I have more to share. Things that may interest others. But I thinking blogging has moved on without me.
Courtney xo

Wednesday, 25 January 2017

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - My thoughts

I have kept it no secret that I am a massive Harry Potter fan, you can just go ahead and call me a Potter-Head. My childhood was spent reading and watching the series over and over again, so I of course was devastated when it all came to an end. A few years on and finding out that it’s not completely over and we’re now getting more glimpses into the wizarding world is a dream come true for a Harry Potter nerd like me.  It truly was and still is a massive part of my life.

After managing to book tickets to Harry Potter and The Cursed Child theatre show in 2015 it was a long await for the 12th of November 2016. Between that time I was excited to see that they were releasing the script, I kept my eyes and ears peeled for any news related to it. Although I was unsure about reading it before watching the show, I just couldn’t wait and gave in one Sunday morning. No regrets.

I was apprehensive at first it being a script and not the full blow story, but that hasn’t stopped me from enjoying it. It was great getting a glimpse into the future dynamic of Harry, Ron and Hermione and even Draco. Getting a feel of the magic of Hogwarts it was just like coming home. Although you don’t have the incredible detail like you do in the Harry Potter books, you do still get a good feel of that magic and the world you’re in.  
The story of course is more based around Albus, Harry’s son, and his experience at Hogwarts and the trouble he manages to get himself into. Let’s be honest it just seemed to follow poor Harry. It definitely brings all those familiar feelings you experienced when the reading the books.

My only wish is that it was a full story with all that detail, so you could truly imagine and get lost in the world for yourself. It all just seems a little rushed and I only think that’s because it is all just script. I was so excited to see how it would come across on stage, the theatre is one of my favourite things to do so!

Last year, Saturday the 12th of November to exact, I finally got to see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child and it was incredible. It gives you that familiar feeling as if you're watching one of the films for the first time. I know I've talked about this "feeling" a lot, but I don't know how to put it into words and if you're a potter head you just get it. Its a feeling that now the series has come to an end that you wish you could feel once again. One of the things I was really interested in seeing was how it transferred onto stage, there is so much you can do with film technically, whereas stage is a lot more raw. I found myself smiling all the way through, honestly I was literally in awe all the way through and getting choked up in all the right parts

The set is so simple and yet incredibly detailed. I don't want to give anything away because #keepthesecrets and I certainly don't want to ruin anything for anyone that gets the chance to see it. It's incredibly clever how they do everything, that you question if you've actually seen magic.

The casting was spot on. They truly carried the essence of the characters, they're exactly how you expect them all to be as the years went on. One of the things I was worried about was not feeling that connection with the character, especially as you're so used to your Harry, Ron and Hermione. But Honestly I had nothing to worry about you just felt it. But of course the play isn't about them three, this is the story of Albus and Scorpius, you get a real feel of them and you fall a little in love with them like you did the original trio.

J.K.Rowling truly is our Queen.

Courtney xo

Saturday, 7 January 2017

Why I want 'Good Vibes Only'

Earlier this year I wasn’t in the best place and while I felt like I was fine at the time, looking back now I really wasn’t that happy. I was letting my social based anxieties get the better of me and my self esteem and body confidence was at a low.  But it wasn’t really till having a chat with my mum and she highlighted the changes she’d seen in me over the last year that I really realised it myself.

It’s all really came about over the past year once I really became interested in Crystals, spirituality, Buddhism, positivity but particularly the Rules of Attraction. Which basically is what you’re thinking and feeling, what you’re putting out into the universe is what you’ll get back. I really feel like it’s played a big part in feeling happier within myself.

When I talk about being positive and only surrounding myself with good vibes. I don’t mean ignore what’s going on around us and around the world. Be vocal if you feel something is injustice and wrong, especially with how the world is currently. Nor am I suggesting not being vocal about the bad day you’re having or the problems in your life. We all have them and sometimes all you need is having a good vent on Twitter before you feel like you can move on. By ‘Good Vibes Only’ I mean making an effort to not surround myself with generally negative things, such as social media or people and looking at the world and everything in a more positive light.

I’m making an effort to not judge people on superficial things and we of course have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. I’m making an effort to moan less and see everything in a more positive light. Instead of thinking I can’t, I’ll be thinking I will! I’m not forcing myself to be around people and do the things that make me unhappy.

Social media can be full of the nicest things and people and then on the other spectrum it can be bitchy and an uncomfortable environment to be in and witness and it was really starting to affect my mood and I just didn’t want to be around it. Don’t force yourself to be around the people or the things that get you down. You don’t deserve it. Surround yourself with only the things that make you happy and make you number one.

I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Courtney xo

Friday, 30 December 2016

A reflection on 2016 and the year to come


2016 has been a pretty funny year for everyone I think. It’s been a pretty horrendous year worldwide; many famous faces have died, there have been huge upheavals for Britain and America (who knows if they were good decisions or not) and light has been brought to the obvious divide in the countries. Honestly there has been a lot of worrying, unrest and violence across the globe; which has impacted everyone, at some point, in some way.

But for me personally I’d say 2016 has been a pretty decent and significant year. After the previous two years being particularly horrible causing a massive upheaval and brought change and worry into our lives. I think this year I’m personally feeling my best and I think this year has been the cause.

I honestly feel I’m starting to get a sense of myself and feeling confident, that I truly know who I am and becoming. I’ve found new interest and realised things about myself that I’d never really paid much attention to or that I really wanted to delve further into. Both good and bad but all round enlightening.  I feel working has really played a part in it all. It’s caused me to force myself into things that I was hiding from doing, no matter how seemingly insignificant, at the beginning of the year. I feel this year has given me the boost to do start doing the things I want to without myself holding myself back. Maybe 2017 is the year where I just keep improving.

In 2017 I want to:
  • (Finally) learn to drive
  • Go on holidays with my friends
  • Get more tattoos (on my own)
  • I want to dye my hair something completely different
  • Go to a festival
  • Put up some shelves in my room

I want to keep on learning things about myself and delving further into the things that interest me, no matter what other people think. A new year isn’t the only time to focus on yourself, make you a priority of every day in your life. Do the things that make you happy.

Hope you all had a fantastic Christmas and the New Year brings you only good things!

Courtney xo

Tuesday, 28 June 2016

Becoming vegetarian - 1 Year on

If you're a regular reader or follow me on Twitter you might know I became vegetarian about a year ago now. So I thought I would just do a little update post per say: 

Why - 
I chose to become vegetarian for ethical reasons, I was a big eater before but I was a hypocrite. I didn't like to think of beef/chicken/pork as animal, it was just something I got from the supermarket in a restaurant. However it got to a point in my life where I felt guilty eating meat and seeing pigs at a pig farm made me sad and I made the decision that day to go vegetarian. I don't believe any animal has the right to die so we can eat it. Why would you eat cows if you wouldn't eat dogs? What really is the difference?

My experience -
For the first month or so I didn't completely cut it out, I'd still have a full roast on Sundays and if I was eating out at any point I'd still have a steak. I kind of eased myself into it, I suppose so it didn't feel so drastic; my family are meat eaters, I'd never really known any different. After a few months of not eating meat you barely even think about it, it's not something I miss and having a substitute like Quorn or not at all really is the norm now. In fact I've found myself cooking more and trying new things, I have a stew recipe here if you'd like to check it out. 

The only real problem I have being vegetarian and it really is down to being a super fussy eater is eating out and finding variety in my meals. When eating out I often end up with 3 or 4 side dishes as I rarely like any of the veggie options on the menu, although it definitely is a lot cheaper now! 

Other people -
People's reaction to me becoming vegetarian is completely bizarre. I'm not one of those that are going to push my thoughts and opinions on to you, you do you at the end of the day. While I wish everyone stopped eating meat completely I know that's not really going to happen. 
However when people are rude or make sly comments it gets my back up and then I'm prepared to fight my case and be as explicit as I want. 
However its remarkable how many people pull faces at you after asking or it being mentioned. Or that cliche question of "what about bacon?". I've also had a well your not going to save the world comment. 1. I'm not trying to save the world just end the suffering 2. what's wrong with wanting to save the world?! 

I've luckily never had any abuse or bad experiences like those that I've heard of and most people are generally quite excepting. 

What now?
My next aim is to cut out diary and eggs from my diet. While I don't eat eat cheese, butter, yogurt or drink milk, I do have it in when its in food and I do eat ice cream now and then. I'm a fussy eater and hate trying new things so I won't be completely vegan any time soon but in the long run that is my goal. 


  • Make sure you are doing it for you and not because you feel forced into it. If you're not 100% committed you probably will fail. 
  • You don't have to go 'cold turkey' ease yourself into it cut it down to a few meatless meals a week and so on until you feel you can go completely with out.  
  • Check your food packaging, you'll be surprised how many things have gelatin in even when you wouldn't think so. 
Are you vegetarian or thinking about it? Leave me a comment below. 

Courtney xo 

Also if you have nothing nice to say please don't say it at all.